Alone again, Naturally
by zero434
Summary: Matthew has always been alone. slight prucan and netcan


DISCLAIMER: I don't own hetalia or the song Alone Again Naturally by Gilbert O'Sullivan

_In a little while from now, __  
__if I'm not feeling any less sour__  
__I promised myself to treat myself__  
__and visit a nearby tower, __  
__and climbing to the top, __  
__Will throw myself off__  
__in an effort to make it clear to who__  
__Ever what it's like when you're shattered__  
_

As I stepped closer to the edge of the roof top of the building I thought about what brought me here in the first place. Was it the fact that I was yet again forgotten by a person I held dear? Am I still depressed by the fact that 'they' died when I was little and left me all alone in this cold unforgiving world? Or was it the fact that it was that day again today?

I looked down below to see tiny people scuttling of to different directions. Though there was still order. They will walk through out the day just like well organized lines of ants busily working away. Then I spotted a young couple meeting up for what I assume a date. 'At least she remembered to showed up' I told no one in particular wanting to give the young man a pat on the back. Then I remembered one of the reasons I was here, at the edge of the roof top of were I worked at.

_Left standing in the lurch, at a church__  
__where people're saying,__  
__"My God that's tough, she stood him up!__  
__No point in us remaining.__  
__May as well go home."__  
__As I did on my own, __  
__Alone again, naturally_

A month ago

I sat there holding a bouquet of flower, looking up at the gray sky as white flake of fluffiness started to fall. They start to cool of my face that was heat by embarrassment. I have been waiting for my girlfriend to arrive. She was a really nice girl. She was spacey and her brother scared the crap out of me but she was worth it or so I thought.

I hear people around whispering to each other 'aw poor guy, 'got stood up' 'oh shush he will hear you! C'mon let's just go.'

I stood up and started to walk away from the park. While I was walking I took out my phone and texted her. Maybe she just forgot we had a date. I was proven wrong when she texted back 'who is this?'

With a tired sigh I put the phone back in my pocket and made my way out the park but not before dumping the bouquet of flowers into the trash.

_To think that only yesterday, __  
__I was cheerful, bright and gay, __  
__Looking forward to, but who wouldn't do, __  
__The role I was about to play__  
__But as if to knock me down, __  
__Reality came around__  
__And without so much as a mere touch, __  
__Cut me into little pieces__  
__Leaving me to doubt, __  
__All about God and His mercy__  
__For if He really does exist_

I stepped back from the edge and sat on the ground. Picking up the lunch I had put aside before I had the crazy idea of stepping on the edge of the roof I started to muse on what exactly was I trying to do or prove by standing there. Was I expecting for someone to burst in and tell me not to do it? Since when was I this pathetic? I started to eat my lunch in silence. It was quieter than usual, well I guess that's because Lars and Gilbert weren't around.

___Why did He desert me__  
__in my hour of need?__  
__I truly am indeed, __  
__Alone again, naturally__  
_

I guess I should be used to it by now. Being alone or being forgotten really it's nothing new to me.

I'm alone again, naturally.

_It seems to me that__  
__there are more hearts__  
__Broken in the world__  
__that can't be mended__  
__Left unattended__  
__what do we do? What do we do?__  
_  
(Instrumental break)

Looking up at the bright blue sky, I remembered my Papa's eyes. It was the same colour. Well before my mother died. After that even though he tried he smiles never reached his eyes. His eyes were never held the same joy they did. But from what I heard Papa was a major player in his youth. MY mother was really the only he really fell in love with. Alas she had a weak constitution and died. I remembered crying for a long time.

Papa never shed a tear though. Not in front of me at least. At night when he thought I was as sleep he would let out the grief alone in his room. I wondered if I had not cried so hard at my mother funeral would my father stop trying to act strong and let me hold him while cried?

_Now looking back over the years, __  
__And what ever else that appears__  
__I remember I cried when my father died__  
__Never wishing to have cried the tears__  
__And at sixty-five years old, __  
__My mother, God rest her soul, __  
__Couldn't understand, why the only man__  
__She had ever loved had been taken__  
__Leaving her to start with a heart__  
__So badly broken__  
__Despite encouragement from me__  
__No words were ever spoken__  
__And when she passed away__  
__I cried and cried all day__  
__Alone again, naturally__  
__Alone again, naturally_

He never did marry again he didn't get a chance to. Then the inevitable happen. When I graduated he died in a robbery at a in the restaurant he owned trying to protect this girl. I believe he was going introduce her to me as his girlfriend; she had long, black hair that was tied in to two low pigtails. It happens to be that date again today…

I was brought out of my painful reverie by the sound of the door opening. It was Gilbert and Lars. Gilbert with his ever present grin and Lars the ever stoic man that he was sat around me.

"Birdie look at what I brought you!" my albino friend gave me a Styrofoam container with an opened mouth smile. I opened it to see maple leaf shaped pancakes. They were still warm when I question where he got them he turned away and mumble a what I believe 'I just made them…in the office kitchen'

I thanked him then felt a tap at my shoulder. I turned to Lars who was holding up a pot filled with beautiful assorted tulips. I asked were he got them and just like Gilbert he turned away and said 'their from my garden'

We sat there for a couple of minutes in comfortable silence then I took out a small bottle of maple syrup from my suit jacket and doused the pancake in it.

"Thanks for trying to cheer me up you guys"

I guess I'm not alone again.


End file.
